Welcome to JPI
Are you feeling that feeling? That foreboding sense, that we are living in the midst of some very unexplainable and challenging times. You may find it hard to articulate just what you are feeling. Since the pandemic, it may have become more difficult to even communicate with those closest to you. Relationships appear harder. With the wearing of masks and gloves, racial unrest, educational concerns for our children, and maintaining distance from everyone including our loved ones, uncertainty of the future, appears to be the only thing thats certain.
However, in spite of the current circumstances, let me thank you for taking a giant step forward on the path toward that which you do have control over…that being how you plan to journey into the future with your peace of mind. The hard facts are, uncertainty and conflict is a part of everything we experience in the 21st century world. That has been since the beginning of time. But just like marriage and raising children, people are rarely taught how to successfully navigate the challenges we all face.
JPI was created to address an urgent need to assist individuals with resolving communication, chaos and life disruptions in ones professional, private and spiritual life. Its goal is to act as an intercessor to you transforming your relationships from a sometimes mess to full-blown amazing.
The process is designed to be the stream of healing, restoration and reconciliation for humanity. The mission of God in our fallen, broken world is and always has been reconciliation as evidenced by sacred Scripture. God created humanity in His image, for relationship and wholeness of life with our Creator and one another (Rice, Duke Divinity School).
By offering specific tools and training, as well as mediation, you can experience a very deep sense of normalcy and peace during these chaotic and uncertain times. The concept of JustPeace is rooted in a theological foundation established from the Catholic church. It rests on a specific understanding of the word “peace”. In common usage, peace typically refers to the condition that is the opposite of war; however, within the Just Peace tradition globally, this word has a radically different meaning that is shared:
JustPeace is a social condition of harmony, wholeness, completeness, prosperity, welfare and tranquility. It is a state of social wellbeing in which all relationships between humanity, God and creation are justly ordered and in which the basic needs of people are met (Ethika Politika).
This site has been built on love and is dedicated to offering a counseling process that many do not know about. You will be amazed to learn that mediation counseling has been used all over the world to resolve conflicts and challenges that families and individuals have faced for hundreds of years. It is honoring, confidential and simple, and the only process where win/win is possible.
Mediation and spiritually based cognitive behavioral trauma counseling promotes the opposite of whats found in society. It is based on healing and reconciliation; win-win outcomes for yourself and your children; it is highly cost-effective; and no one determines the outcome but you. It offers a workable solution that focuses on the future. It is the most under-utilized option primarily because no one gets to make money off your endless pain, suffering and anxiety. You are chief-in-control of the decisions concerning your life. Remember, conflict and challenges do not go away just because we try to ignore them. Silence, like injustice, often makes it inextricably worse.
Our mission is to help you resolve relationship issues that may include divorce matters encountered through legal proceedings or unresolved relationship issues where high conflict parenting or custody issues are involved. Whether you have been ordered by a judge or voluntarily seek assistance on your own, you can reap the benefits of peace of mind and sense of normalcy during a most stressful, chaotic and uncertain time. JPI has been recognized as a resource, a conduit, an oasis for conscious travelers, and a think-tank for problem-solvers, but our main goal is simply to equip you with the tools for successful stress free living. We firmly hold, that no matter what you are going through, issues can be resolved, and peace of mind restored. We also offer group workshops or private consultations on:
Confidential sessions are available in person or online through video conferencing. The value of your relationship with yourself, your children, significant others and strangers alike is worth the call.
If you would like more information, please call or text 281-380-9694 or send an email to gcarroll45@gmail.com for a free consultation. Thank you for stopping by! I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Conflict dynamics
“We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools”.
What Dr. King understood was that as human beings, we will do things to others that they may not like, and others will do things to us that we don’t like. Its going to happen. No one is exempt from experiencing conflict.
Disagreements. Differences of opinions, or challenging opposition. It is a part of life that our Creator wants us to wrap our head around, and possibly address through mediation. Teens and parents. Spouses. Employers. All relationships stand and become stronger or fall apart, based upon how we handle uncomfortable or upsetting situations.
It is about ones unsaid, untreated and unhealed wounds. Unresolved issues.Conflict in and of itself, can be healthy or destructive. It is our response to conflict that makes the difference. Unresolved, conflict can manifest itself in many ways and forms. From bullying to silent seething, and everything in between, it is often our natural and normal response to feeling a certain type of way when we feel hurt or harmed.
We must not underestimate the words of Bishop Desmond Tutu, “there is no future without forgiveness.”
Race Matters
“If you want peace, work for justice.” (Pope Paul VI)
In spite of monumentous gains, Black and Brown individuals continue to be faced with attempts at oppression and overt discrimination. Racial and ethnic identity are critical parts of the overall framework of individual and collective identity. For some especially visible and legally defined minority populations in the the United States, racial and ethnic identity are manifested in very conscious ways. First, deep conscious immersion into cultural traditions and values through religious, familial, neighborhood, and educational communities instills a positive sense of ethnic identity and confidence. However, second and in contrast, these same individuals often must filter ethnic identity through negative treatment and media messages received from others because of their race and ethnicity.
The negative results our country is witnessing through the constant implosion of riots and protest.
Myyomoto Musashi said, “I look at an ant and I see myself: a native South African, endowed by nature with a strength nuch greater than my size so I might cope with the weight of a racism that crushes my spirit.”
Interested in learning more in the area of racial sensitivity, contact JPI today for formal presentations and other relative information: #281.380.9694. You can make a difference.
When the Bough Breaks
Mediation Counseling vs Adversarial Courtroom Drama
Adversarial Process: Third party makes decisions about your children
Mediation: Parties make decisions about their children
Adversarial process: Focuses on the past
Mediation: Focuses on the future
Adversarial process: Seeks to establish fault/liability
Mediation: Seeks to restructure relationship
Adversarial process: Results in winner and loser
Mediation: Results in accommodative resolution- win/win
Adversarial process: Expensive
Mediation: Nominal Fees
The Influencer – Dads
“A house without a father is a challenge. A neighborhood without fathers is a catastrophe” (Alvin Poussaint)
It is probably no accident that Father’s Day only became a national holiday in 1972, 58 years after Mother’s Day received national recognition.
While most may not recognize it today, there was a time when the role of a Dad carried a lot of weight. His position as head of the household could not be usurped. If you had “lip” about something you were told to do, and choose not to do it…you better be ready for the ultimate faceoff. If you ever felt you were too old to follow his rules, he would be more than happy to show you the door.
Historically, it really did not matter whether your father was a janitor or a doctor, his role as your dad and father was unequivically respected. He is regarded as the protector, provider, adviser, role model and authority figure.
Unfortunately, Black men have been targeted by a racist system since the day African Americans were freed. The fact that slaves in Texas did not know for two whole years that they were free speaks VOLUMES! From Jim Crow segregation, mass incarceration, racial profiling, the introduction of drugs into their communities, lack of access to quality education and equal employment opportunities, it is amazing they have survived and continue to thrive in spite of never being given the opportunity to straighten their backs or lift their heads.
Ok, now I am getting ready to go out on a limb here but…I believe that sons NEED their fathers in their lives in order to learn how to become men. This was not always my opinion, but I must honor what I have been told by lots of young men. While Moms do a great job raising their sons, amazingly and like no body else, recent CDC statistical data reflects that:
– 71% of all children who dropout of high school;
– 90% of all kids who runaway and become homeless;
– 85% of all children with behavioral problems and mental disorders;
– 63% of all children who commit suicide; and
– 85% of all youth who end up in prison come from fatherless homes.
These embody the problems that JPI works to address through parent coordination. These are not bad kids. They are kids hurt and feeling abandoned with no hope for their future. The quote attributed to Hillory Clinton is actually an African proverb: “It takes a village to raise a child” means that the entire community must interact and pour into them values and morals for those children to experience and grow in a safe and healthy environment…and fathers play an important role in that.
The system is built on dividing and conquering. Divorce plays a huge part in that. If the family continues to be destroyed, so goes your future and the future of our children.
If you or someone you know, is experiencing parenting issues, JPI is here for you. Contact gcarroll45@gmail or call 281-380-9694. Please do not wait another day risking your son or daughter becoming a statistic. They deserve better. Dads do make a difference.
Divorce
Oscar Wilde once said, “Divorces are made in heaven.”
While in some circumstances, it may seem true but going through a divorce, even under the best of circumstances, can be one of the most stressful events you will face in your life. This stress is exacerbated if you and your ex have a child or children together.
So often couples are so focused on getting out and away from each other, that they forget that they are still inextricably tied to that ex-spouse for possibly decades as a result of children bore together. Issues with regard to visitation, holidays, education, discipline, or even dating will result at some point differing opinions.
The process before, during and after divorce can be devastating and destructive… resulting in high conflict to your immediate family, your extended family and closest circle of friends…but you are not alone.
You may not have known it, but you have options, in addition to working with an attorney and through the courts to help you get through. The following list are professionals recognized by the courts available to assist you with contentious issues or the numerous impasses that may occur:
- Parent Coordinator
- Divorce Mediator
- Parent Facilitator
- Family Mediator
These professionals are specifically trained and certified to work in a neutral capacity. The following is just a brief summary of what each does:
Divorce mediation is a voluntary confidential process that can be used before, during or after divorce or separation. Divorce mediators are equipped to facilitate conversations that establish mutually acceptable agreements. It is a highly effective win/win process when couples agree to voluntarily participate and far less costly over time, because you are able to stay out of the courtroom.
A Parent Coordinator (PC) or Parent Facilitator (PF) are neutral third party mediators with special training that is solution-focused on helping divorced co-parents resolve high conflict child related issues. Based upon their needs, the PC/PF can help former couples create workable parenting plans or other strategies that facilitate communication and resolve their problems as it relates to children. These professionals are governed under Texas state law, Sec. 153.606 and 153.6061 and may be appointed by a Judge.
A Family Mediator’s role is similar to those previously mentioned, however, they work with everyone in the family on all facets of issues in a closed confidential environment, facilitating open conversation. Similarly, family mediation gives all the parties the opportunity to speak and be heard in a low pressure environment, and affords everyone the opportunity to have all their concerns addressed.
So, you do have options! Use them. Instead of going to a court of law where the judge and attorneys will make decisions about your future, the couple gets to decide, and can save a ton of money in the process.
JPI is certified in all these areas. If you have additional questions or would like a free consultation, contact gcarroll45@gmail.com with JPI-Consultation in the subject line and we will get back with you soon.
Fighting Fair
All relationships have some conflict. When conflict occurs, it does not mean it is the end of the world.
It only means its time to open your toolbox and do some self-reflection work.
First, think about how you contributed to the conflict and not just the other person.
When you have a problem:
Don’t have difficult conversations when you are very angry or tired.
Ask, “When is a good time to talk about something that is bothering me?”
Don’t criticize and don’t blame. Attack the problem, not the other person.
Open sensitive conversations with “I” statements; talk about how you struggle with the problem.
Don’t open with “you” statements; avoid blaming the other person for your thoughts and feelings.
Stay with the topic. Don’t use a current concern as a reason to jump into everything that bothers you.
Healthy relationships don’t use ammunition from the past to fuel the present.
Say, “I’m sorry” when you’re wrong. It goes a long way in making things right again.
Healthy relationships can admit mistakes.
Don’t assume things. When we feel close to someone it’s easy to think we know how he or she thinks and feels.
We can be very wrong! Healthy relationships check things out.
Take a time-out. If you want to yell and scream, take a time out to calm yourself down
Allow yourself to breathe and come back to the conversation later.
Healthy relationships don’t demand conformity or perfect agreement.
You are an individual with value and valid opinions; don’t try to bully.
Most importantly: Don’t hold a grudge. Let some things go.
Healthy relationships don’t hold on to past hurts and misunderstandings.
Be willing to forgive.Adapted from Joyce Woodford, Counseling Services, Kansas State University
Wisdom Walks Boldly in 2024
Wisdom…It will protect your PEACE…You’ll be Glad you Did
Wisdom is the principle thing; therefore, get wisdom and in all thy getting, get understanding (Proverbs 4:7).
Obtaining wisdom, prudence and cognitive understanding takes you on the highway to phenomenal adventure and extraordinary outcomes that you would not ordinarily have.
The Holy Scriptures warns us that “all of a man’s ways are wise in his own eyes” (Prov.21:2) but careful…cause its a trap!…
Which is why so many make stupid mistakes…and some are the same ones over and over and over again. (I’m raising my own hand
)
What is wisdom exactly…
Noah Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines wisdom as this…”it is the right use or exercise of knowledge; the choice of laudable ends, and of the best means to accomplish them. This is wisdom in act, effect, or practice.
If wisdom is to be considered as a faculty of the mind, it is the faculty of discerning or judging what is most just, proper and useful, and if it is to be considered as an acquirement, it is the knowledge and use of what is best, most just, most proper, most conducive to prosperity or happiness.
Wisdom in the first sense, or practical wisdom, is nearly synonymous with discretion. It differs somewhat from prudence, in this respect; prudence is the exercise of sound judgment in avoiding evils; wisdom is the exercise of sound judgment either in avoiding evils or attempting good. Prudence then is a species, of which wisdom is the genus.”
So…if you really want it…God will gladly give you lots & lots of it.
“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” (James 1:5)
Indeed, it appears that getting wisdom is unequivocally the main thing IF we want to really exhale and live a life of joy, peace, gratitude and influence.
Sooo…lets commit to slowing down…and recognize the value of getting wisdom…it is the main thing to living that life you and I both desire and deserve.
